Celebrating our limitations

(08.08.24)

“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places” (Psalm 16:5)

Guess what? We can’t achieve anything that we want to, because: our time, energy, skills, capacity, situations, and resources are limited. And so, we have to make choices in this life as to what we will attempt and pursue because not every option is open to us. This is good news. It means that to be fruitful within our lives; to live well and contentedly, we are required to build a relationship of self-awareness and kindness towards ourselves and of friendship with reality rather than adrenaline-fuelled delusion.

If we can find out who we actually are, what we are able to actually do and not do, what our levels of energy and motivation are in truth, we can make friends with ourselves, our situation in life and in the process become someone helpful in the world in the way of gentleness and humility.

There are clues to what these pleasant boundary lines are for each of us. It requires us to pay attention and to listen deeply to our own lives. Ignatian author, Kevin O’Brien suggests three significant questions in relation to discerning our vocation and contribution in life:
• What am I good at?
• What do I enjoy doing?
• What does the world need?

Frederick Buechner has said that vocation occurs for us when our deep gladness meets the worlds deep need. I can’t do everything, but I am good at something. I don’t enjoy everything, but I enjoy some things. When what I am good at is also something that I enjoy and I discover that it meets a need in the world, then I can do that happily, freely. It will be a labour of love that may require my full engagement but will also feel at the same time, ‘easy’, ‘effortless’. ‘The Lord loves a cheerful giver’ (2 Corinthians 9:7). That’s a clue, follow the path in life and service that brings you joy and that feels free from compulsion and coercion.

Here’s another part of the good news about our limitations and boundaries: Jesus is the saviour of the world. That means that I am not. Jesus does invite me to partner with him in his great salvation project (which means by the way the holistic project of the elevation of humanity and the creation) and this partnership will involve me in giving what I can and who I am – not what I can’t and who I am not. In fact, Jesus has a special word of invitation and encouragement for those of us who have become exhausted by trying to live outside of our natural capacity and ability, check it out:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30

May God bless you with the humility to accept your limitations, to joyfully live inside the boundaries of your personality, capacity, resources and motivations, and to offer to the world what you have and what you can (your equivalent of a small boy’s lunch that was once received by Jesus with great courtesy and was considered to be enough).

A message from the Author

Spend some time reflecting on your limitations and recognise those that you often feel frustrated by, embarrassed about, and that you wish you could be rid of. These may be limitations in energy, aptitude (e.g. ‘I wish that I was a better singer’), motivation, finance, virtue (‘if only I could be more patient’). If it helps you may like to write a list of limitations or of the negative statements that you recognise that you are prone to make about them. This may be somewhat painful or confronting but if you can bear with the discomfort of this exercise, it can be a healthy way to take a step back and consider the natural boundaries of your life and person without blame or judgement. Now contemplate what it would be like to approach your limitations with mercy and tender kindness. To take a nurturing approach to your actual boundary lines. What does it feel like to practice understanding and acceptance towards your self in relation to your limitations? Think now about what these limitations may be saying to you by way of invitation. What wisdom do they offer about the fruitful, gentle and humble life you could live within their boundaries? You may like to make some notes and/or perhaps an image or picture will come to mind. If so, be with that and allow it to communicate its spirit. Finally, imagine that you are the small child in John’s gospel (John 6:8-11) and that you are offering to Jesus what you have to offer. Compared to the need of the crowd and the moment it seems ludicrously inadequate, yet. Notice the courtesy of Jesus acceptance of your gift. His appreciation and the dignity that he bestows upon your offering. Imagine what Jesus might do with what you have and who you are when, in humility and vulnerability, you make your offering known.

Dr Phil Daughtry